


The Tale of Kierre and Gregor's Worms

by alapest



Category: Kim Kardashian - Fandom, THIS ISNT A FANDOM BUT I WISH IT WAS LOL, my best friend's bird she made in art class
Genre: I feel like this is a camp song but like, I hate myself, I still get the French song Pierre squawks stuck in my head, for bird purgatory, have y'all seen my track record?!, this is honestly the trashiest thing I've ever created and that's saying something
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-24
Updated: 2017-02-24
Packaged: 2018-09-26 15:00:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9907850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alapest/pseuds/alapest
Summary: In which my best friend asks me to write her a fic about two birds she created in art class when we were driving to Las Vegas last summer-  I still don't know how in the world this story happened- I think I just blacked it and worms wrote it





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [@usachanbeccer](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=%40usachanbeccer).



> Try reading it out loud- it gets you in the same weird stupid high as the song "99 Bottles"

"Once upon a time there was a pigeon and his name was Pierre. He had a friend, a small bird named Gregor Gregorbert Fitzherald- DANG IT". RUN THE INTRO AGAIN!  
"Once upon a time there was a pigeon and his name was Pierre. He had a friend, a small bird named Gregor Gregorbert Fitzherald the IV. He liked worms and so did Pierre. Their friendship started out like any other.  
Gregor yelled at Pierre because he is consumed by his rage and just because. And then worms. And Platonic bonding."  
"-Wait, what did you say? There's more? Oh mother hugger! RUN THE INTRO AGAIN!"   
"Once upon a time there was a pigeon and his name was Pierre. He had a friend, a small bird named Gregor Gregorbert Fitzherald the IV. He liked worms and so did Pierre. Their friendship started out like any other.  
Gregor yelled at Pierre because he is consumed by his rage and just because. And then worms. And Platonic bonding. And then birdeo games and Pierre squawks French phrases and Gregor hates that because Pierre doesn't squawk french. Gregor is an angry birb and he hates everything, even his best birdy friend, Pierre. Except he also loves him. It's much like how most humans think of Zoolander----Birblander."  
"Wait, what do you MEAN I can't make a bird pun of Zoolander? OH FOR ALL THE LOVE OF VANILLA ICE CREAM-RUN THE INTRO AGAIN!"  
"Once upon a time there was a pigeon and his name was Pierre. He had a friend, a small bird named Gregor Gregorbert Fitzherald the IV. He liked worms and so did Pierre. Their friendship started out like any other.  
Gregor yelled at Pierre because he is consumed by his rage and just because. And then worms. And Platonic bonding. And then birdeo games and Pierre squawks French phrases and Gregor hates that because Pierre doesn't squawk french. Gregor is an angry birb and he hates everything, even his best birdy friend, Pierre. Except he also loves him. It's much like how most humans think of Zoolander. AAAAAnyway Kim Birddashian flew over to Birdtopia and Pierre really wanted to meet her but Gregor didn't care. Worms happened. Fine, Gregor decided to go with his best birdy friend Pierre as a Wingman for the occasion of finding Kim Birddashian in town because truly Kierre is meant to be!  
Five million birdy years passed... or, at least it felt that way to poor wingman Gregor.  
They found the birdhouse Kim Birddashian was staying in and Pierre began to sing a beautiful French song to the door.  
"Qui a eu cette idée folle  
Un jour d'inventor l'école  
see'est ce sacré Charlemagne  
Sacré Charlemagne--"  
A fat wild birdy cop appeard, "HEY! Pigeon! You can't sing broken French outside the door of the lovely Kim Birddashian! Out of the way now and leave back to your birdy town!"  
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT'S NOT WHAT THE FAT COP SAID?! I'm so done with this... RUN THE INTRO AGAIN!"  
"Once upon a time there was a pigeon and his name was Pierre. He had a friend, a small bird named Gregor Gregorbert Fitzherald the IV. He liked worms and so did Pierre. Their friendship started out like any other.  
Gregor yelled at Pierre because he is consumed by his rage and just because. And then worms. And Platonic bonding. And then birdeo games and Pierre squawks French phrases and Gregor hates that because Pierre doesn't squawk french. Gregor is an angry birb and he hates everything, even his best birdy friend, Pierre. Except he also loves him. It's much like how most humans think of Zoolander. AAAAAnyway Kim Birddashian flew over to Birdtopia and Pierre really wanted to meet her but Gregor didn't care. Worms happened. Fine, Gregor decided to go with his best birdy friend Pierre as a Wingman for the occasion of finding Kim Birddashian in town because truly Kierre is meant to be!  
Five million birdy years passed... or, at least it felt that way to poor wingman Gregor.  
They found the birdhouse Kim Birddashian was staying in and Pierre began to sing a beautiful French song to the door.  
"Qui a eu cette idée folle  
Un jour d'inventor l'école  
see'est ce sacré Charlemagne  
Sacré Charlemagne--"  
A fat wild birdy cop appeard, "Hey! I like your singing! I'm sure the lovely, bodacious Kim Birddashian will fall in love and love you forever!"  
"And she did! she heard the beautiful song and she immediately knew that Pierre was the one for her. She flew down from her room window and they got married the next day. Gregor is still said to be whispering words of discouragement to the couple sqwacking stuff like, "YOU GUYS AREN'T ACTUALLY IN BIRDY LOVE YOU JUST MET!" But he's in a birdy institution so that's fine- until his prophesies came true cause worms."

~ Fin


End file.
